I had envisioned exiting Socktoberfest on a high note, ala George Costanza, with a fourth and final pair of socks. Unfortunately, my overly ambitious Socktober plans got waylaid by other October plans this past weekend. As a result, I only have leg one of sock one to offer for my final Socktoberfest hurrah. (There is definitely Greek music at the end of that sentence.) The pattern is Yukon Leaves, in KnitPicks dye-your-own merino sock yarn, on size 1 Brittany Birch dpn's. Although initially I didn't dye the yarn out of sheer laziness, I'm actually kind of liking the natural color of the wool for this project. The pattern is just the right blend of mindless and mindful repetition and I really love the quasi-cables that magically appear. I wish I could have gone out with a bang like Laura, but being the George that I am, I am instead stuck in the boardroom with nothing funny to say. Ah, well- time to segue to the infamous tractor story!
Going with the G-rating, there will be no STD's or gonorrhea in this tractor story. And if you're completely lost, take it as a divine sign that you need to watch more Seinfeld! This tractor story involves a little hay, a little ride and a lot of pumpkins at Aloun Farms Annual Pumpkin Patch. Take one hot day (welcome to Hawaii!), add a long drive out to the farm, stir in gale-force winds and dirt, and you've got the recipe for USDA Choice Toddler Meltdown. Not to be confused with Nap-Interrupted-Meltdown and Share-with-What-Sister?-Meltdown, which are distinct, but separate, Grade B varieties. Things started out well enough with an impromptu and off-tune preschool chorus of E-I-E-I-O at the mention of the word, "farm." The hay ride went decently well, too. We even got to pull our pumpkins off the vine this year, as opposed to the Easter Egg Hunt mentality Pumpkin- free-for-all last year, but it was to no avail. Something about stepping foot on the soil to pick our pumpkins (aka the highlight of the trip) sent Bossy into crisis mode, as you can see in the pics. In our usual Wal-Mart crisis-intervention fashion, we grabbed Bossy, hid behind our shades and booked it back to the tractor, all the while menacingly delivering empty threats about the eternal time-out that awaited him once we got home. As we hauled butt and pumpkins back to the tractor, some goodie-goodie know-it-all moms gave us a condescending and disapproving stare, so I shot them all a dirty "I-saw-what-your-crappy-kids- did-at-Wal-Mart -last-week, so-don't-you-be lookin'-at me" look. Go, Hilo girl!
After the Pumpkin Patch Fiasco, we were able to avert further disaster by heading out to Waialae Iki Park. Pre-Halloween festivities awaited us later at home, including pumpkin carving and cupcake decorating. Stinky seems pretty freaked out by the jack-o-lanterns, but she keeps staring at them, laughing and crying, playing some demented game of chicken with herself. I'm praying she doesn't wind up codependent. Bossy, ever the capitalist, seizes every opportunity to terrify Stinky by turning the lights off to let the jack-o-lanterns glow. I'm praying he doesn't wind up a Corleone.
Ante-Knitblogging, I was an attentive, loving mother who baked organic Halloween shortbread cookies from scratch for the progeny to decorate with homemade icing. Post-Knitblogging, I am a neglectful, harried mom trying to squeeze in a few extra minutes of reading and commenting, baking additive and preservative filled cupcakes from a box, slathered with nuclear orange canned frosting. Judging by their smiles, I'm thinking Bossy and Stinky are pretty darned thankful for Knitblogging and high fructose corn syrup right about now!
As Socktoberfest draws to a close, a big thank you to Miss Lolly for being such an outstanding hostess for such a fun KAL!! It's been so inspiring seeing all the fabulous socks and "meeting" all the wonderful knitters out there. And as October draws to a close, it's time for Bossy, Stinky and I to start our hardcore mantra training: What do we say? "Trick-or-treat, thank you, bye." And how do we say it? "Loudly!" Say it again! "Trick-or-treat, thank you, bye." Again! "Trick-or-treat, thank you, bye." Again!...
Alright, that's it for me- you've been great. Good night, everybody! George Costanza has left the house!