Friday, October 07, 2005

she's got a way

I've got a way.....of procrastinating.

This is not something that I'm proud of. Every clock in our house is set at random, varying intervals ahead of "real time." I do this to trick myself into thinking that I'm late in doing whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing but am not doing. Initially, I did the ol' "set your watch 5 minutes ahead" bit, but I'm not easily fooled. To truly freak myself out, I had to set all ten of our clocks ahead of time at different intervals, so that I'd never really know what time it was. Be that as it may, I still tend to run late, according to at least five of those clocks.

I procrastinate the worst with homework. Even as I write this post, I know I should be working on the 70 page reading and response paper that's due on Monday. But somehow, whenever the heat is on high, I get distracted. The first time I experienced true stress in my freshman year of college, I got distracted and ended up becoming a vegetarian for 4 years. Now that's really distracted.

It was 3 am. I was supposed to be studying for midterms and writing a paper when I decided that I absolutely could not function without having a 7-Eleven nachos with extra onions and jalapenos. (I also have a penchant for really nasty food when I'm procrastinating. Red Vines, anyone?) Naturally, the only 7-Eleven in the vicinity was a 25 minute walk away, but I really needed the nachos. So, I grabbed my jacket and started on my trek. As luck would have it, I passed our good ol' cafeteria along the way. We all cracked the usual jokes about the cafeteria food, calling the company "Marri-Rot" instead of Marriott and bragging about developing cast-iron stomachs. Jokes aside though, it really was rather bad... I would get the runs for a full 2 weeks at the start of every semester re-acclimating to MarriRot. (What, too much information? You know it makes you feel closer to me.) I'd always wondered what made the food so damned bad. And then, that night, I saw it. There, shrouded in the darkness of night, unseen by the masses...

The cafeteria delivery truck that said: "Meat: Grade D, But Edible"

In that instant, all was revealed to me. Grade D? Grade D?! I'd never even seen Grade B sold in a market, let alone Grade D! But, in spite of that, it wasn't even the Grade D part that got to me. No, it was the conjunction that killed me. Grade D BUT edible. BUT edible!! On the spot, I became an instant vegetarian convert and never looked back till graduation.

So here I am at 12 am (or 12:15, 12:20, or 12:25, depending on which clock you're looking at), looking at my hoodie, literally less than 5 inches away from completion....and procrastinating. Blog surfing and dreaming about Socktober instead of knitting and purling. I think the stockinette's finally getting to me. You know it's bad when you look forward to grafting shoulder seams. I actually enjoyed it, in a sick kind of cool way. I just need to focus and power through these last few inches so I can enjoy my hoodie and move on to socks with peace of mind. I solemnly vow here and now not to post again until I have a finished hoodie to show. I will not procrastinate! I will not be distracted!

Then again, if you find out I re-converted to vegeterianism tomorrow, you know why.


Lolly said...

Grade D? oh my, that is gross! what is that? beaks and chicken claws? yuck! glad I am a vegetarian :)

I am a bad procrastinator too... case in point: I am here reading your great blog when I SHOULD be reading a book and writing a paper that is due on Tuesday... but I too am dreaming of Socktoberfest and looking at blogs!

Did you get my email? :)

Talk to you soon!

Beak-Knits said...

I agree...those last inches are the hardest. I am always afraid I am going to find some really wierd mistake in the first 3 inches that will ruin the whole thing...

Thanks for the comment...Our sofa is now an off limits zone for me also. I just don't want to know.

Acornbud said...

Grade D meat, is that lower then spam (the "meat')? The hoodie sure made quick progress. I can't wait to see the finished product :)