Tuesday, November 01, 2005

if i only had a brain

I'm being haunted by ghostly apparitions.

And I'm not talking about the unsettling recurring elevator nightmare where I plummet to my death. Although that haunts me pretty regularly, too. No, I'm talking supernatural phenomena here. *Shudder* Just writing the word, "supernatural" gives me chicken skin. (Chicken skin= Hawaiian goose pimples. Different fowl, same phenomenon.) Any mention of the word supernatural around my sister, Fredo, or me and we're both covering our ears, squeezing our eyes shut and singing, "LALALALALA I CAN'T HEEEAAAAR YOU LALALALALA!!!" It all started one night close to Halloween about 10 years ago, when we were up late watching TV. Back in the Jurassic Era, we didn't have digital TV or the luxury of an information/guide channel. We had only the assistance of the ever-trusty TV Guide, and not only did it require your getting your butt off the couch to retrieve it, it also required the dictionary-like skill of searching and reading to figure out what was on TV. Being sisters, we did the usual "You get it." "No, YOU get it." "Why don't YOU get it?" crap, which ultimately resulted in neither of us getting it. So, naturally, neither of us scaredy cats realized that The Exorcist was starting on TNT. Out of nowhere, Linda Blair's face suddenly appeared and we knew we were in serious trouble. Especially because the remote control was on top of the TV. Which meant walking right up to Split Pea Soup's face to get the remote. We were petrified. "Hurry up! Get the remote control so I can change the channel!" "YOU get the remote control!" "Why don't YOU get the remote control?!"

If we'd only had a brain.

Lazy, petrified idiots that we were, neither of us got the remote. We wound up sitting through 2 entire hours of The Exorcist with almost-exploding bladders- damn if we were getting up to go to that bathroom by ourselves!- and proceeded to cover our ears and sing, "LALALALALALA!!" through FOUR MORE hours of Parts II AND III. Because of course it was A Very Spooktacular Halloween Marathon on TNT, which anybody who bothered to retrieve the TV Guide would have known. And of course, neither of us was getting that close to Linda Blair to get the remote to change the channel. I have never had to pee so bad in my entire life! I was certain that the sheer pressure would surely cause my bladder to implode before the end of Part II. Stupid Fredo.

Thankfully, I'm not being haunted by anything remotely Exorcist-like. No, my apparitions are more along the lines of Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past. More specifically, the Ghost of Uncompleted Christmas Past Projects. Determined not to let the Ghost of Christmas Past become the Ghost of Christmast Present, I am working feverishly to get gifts crossed off the never-ending list this year. Case in point: Yukon Leaves in KnitPicks Dye-Your-Own-Sock-Yarn Merino. After seeing Jane's absolutely lovely version, I made a mental note of the pattern for Christmas gift socks. In spite of the Size 1 dpn's, it knit up relatively fast. I like the wide squared-off toe. I'm really enjoying this pattern and am hoping to have a completed pair by this weekend. We shall see. I play this slightly demented compulsive game with myself where I create personal timelines and then try to beat them- not just with projects, but with individual rows, even. My own personal game of chicken, I guess. And then I wonder why Stinky's so deranged with the jack-o-lanterns!

Speaking of which, and mostly because I know I can't milk this much past today, here are some gratuitous Halloween pics of The Scarecrows formerly known as Bossy and Stinky. Surprisingly, they were very good little scarecrows and were rewarded with lots of treats in the Land Of Oz, otherwise known as The Mall. Unfortunately, much to their chagrin, the Wicked Witch of the West swooped down and confiscated their loot. She cackled as she promised that they could trade their spoils for one future unknown and unnamed toy. Being young scarecrows, they fell for her evil scheme. Oh, if they'd only had a brain!

21 comments:

amylovie said...

Let me tell you my funny exorcist story.

My little brother watched The Exorcist, unbeknownst to my parents, when he was I'm guessint 9 or 10 years old. It freaked him out so much that he drew crosses on Post-Its and stuck them all over his room. He then wrote "I love God" on a piece of paper and taped that to his mirror. And juuuuust to make sure he had all of his bases coverd, he drew a cross on his forheaad before he went to bed. It still cracks me up when I think about it.

You kiddos win the prize for the cutest Halloween costumes, hands down.

Amy

Laura said...

Hilarious! Your story sounds like something that my sister and I would have done.

Your scarecrows are too cute!

Cheryl said...

Your little scarecrows are absolutely adorable!!!

Lolly said...

I love the costumes! I love Stinky's face--she is saying, "Mommy, what have you done to me?" hehe They are both such cute kids!

Ahh! Your Exorcist story reminded me of the time that Mimi and I watched the movie on TV--we did it behind our mom's back because she would never have approved! Ewww... split pea soup.

Tell the fam that we say Hi! :)

Lolly said...

I forgot to tell you that I think that the sock is LOVELY :)

Lynda said...

I was a kid when the Exorcist came out (okay - a teenager), and the ad showed a picture of the priest/exorcist standing under a street light in the dark... from my bedroom window, next to my bed, I had a straight shot view of the street light on the corner - and I used to scare myself silly, being sure I could see him standing there! I never ever saw the movie until a year ago!

Cute, cute scarecrows - although Stinky doesn't quite look like she knows what's going on!

Love the Yukon sock - bookmarked the pattern.... but need lots of practice before I tackle it!

Karen said...

The sock came out terrific!! I really do love that natural, un-dyed color.

What precious little scarecrows. Sorry to hear their candy got snatched by the Wicked Witch. A “good” witch in the North would love to sneak them some treats (okay, she’s not so good – she’s a bad influence), so I guess it’s a good thing she’s so very far away.

Ragan said...

That sock is great. Lovely! I love ordering yarn from Knitpicks, they have great deals sometimes...and the no shipping over $30 must help out with the SHIPPING TO HAWAII...where every company thinks that you have to charge SOOOOO much extra to get things to Hawaii. Even when the post office charges the SAME...companies charge DOUBLE!! Ok, enough ranting! To answer your question posted on my blog...my hubby is a Marine...and my cousin lived in Kailua. So...we chose Hawaii. I miss the FOOD!!!!! My hubby is Chinese...so we were in Asian heaven over there...all those snacks. YUM.
Ok...loved the SOCKS! And...the pictures of Bossy & Stinky. TOO CUTE!

Agnes said...

Your kids are so cute!
I like your socks and you reminded me that I can get natural colour sock yarns from KnitPicks.

Acornbud said...

Thanks for sharing another great story. Those scarecrows are the cutest! I hope they get a nice laptop or Ipod a least for their spoils. The sock is really beautiful!

Jenn said...

You sat through all those movies because you were too lazy? I am lazy to the core, and that puts me to shame!

Your kids are absolutely adorable!

Cathy said...

The socks are gorgeous! I love that pattern. The kids are adorable, I love the costumes - they are so much fun when they are that age!

The Exorcist - ick! lol I had nightmares when I was younger too!
Cath

K8 said...

The socks are beautiful - starting to motivated me to begin another pair. And the scarecrows are so cute :)

knittinmom said...

Those socks are great! I think you've just given me a pattern for my next pair of Christmas socks...thanks!

Halloween was the movie that gave me nightmares. Believe it or not, I've never seen the Exorcist!

Sheryl said...

Bossy & Stinky make VERY cute scarcrows!

Ragan said...

Socks...are so addicting for sure!!! Missing the plate lunches...mmmmm. I taught elementary school at Wahiawa El. I miss the noodle places...homemade noodles...yum.
And...I did notice that great sale at Knitpicks. MORE SOCK YARN! Yay! My hubby won't be thrilled about my growing stash...but I NEED it to keep my self sane. Haha! We have a 5 year old boy...and a 2 year old boy...keeping sane is good. Hee hee. Have a great day!

Kim said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today--I like your socks; they are really pretty and lacey enough to be perfect with the Hawaii weather(especially the cooler evenings). I used to live in Honolulu too; I taught at Kaiser High School. I really miss Genki sushi and being able to go to the beach on Christmas day. Your kiddos looked too cute in their costumes :)

keohinani said...

ooh, pretty sock! did you make it out to SnB this week? i can just see you knitting feverishly on your white sock :)
looks beautiful, btw!
jeez, every time you post pics of your kids, your comment count blows up! i see how it is...it's almost like how Abercrombie & Fitch save on advertising by putting out controversial merchandise. well, your blog isn't controversial, but you consistently set the bar higher with your content. sneaky sneaky...haha, nah. only joking. your kids are just so darn cute!
you know, talk is cheap; i throw out lots of ideas, but no telling if i get to them or not. my to-do list is ridiculously long. eh, dare to dream, right? :]

Teresa said...

Oh man, The Exorcist. My parents went to see that in the drive-in and thought I was sleeping the backseat. I wasn't. To this day, whenever that movie is mentioned, I get a little queasy thinking about that face (Split Pea Soup-perfect). Yuck. Anyhoo, thank you for the lovely comment. I am terrible when it comes to commenting, but I am a reader! Your kids are adorable, and their "names" priceless. I have a Bossy and Stinky myself-not a moment's peace, is there? Pretty pretty socks tough!

Danielle said...

Love the socks! These might have to get added to my "to knit" list...

And the scarecrow costumes are great!

Anonymous said...

i love the school story.. congrats on the acing the test.. and i thikn you should have kept that shirt for good luck!! :-) karola