if i only had a brain

I'm being haunted by ghostly apparitions.

And I'm not talking about the unsettling recurring elevator nightmare where I plummet to my death. Although that haunts me pretty regularly, too. No, I'm talking supernatural phenomena here. *Shudder* Just writing the word, "supernatural" gives me chicken skin. (Chicken skin= Hawaiian goose pimples. Different fowl, same phenomenon.) Any mention of the word supernatural around my sister, Fredo, or me and we're both covering our ears, squeezing our eyes shut and singing, "LALALALALA I CAN'T HEEEAAAAR YOU LALALALALA!!!" It all started one night close to Halloween about 10 years ago, when we were up late watching TV. Back in the Jurassic Era, we didn't have digital TV or the luxury of an information/guide channel. We had only the assistance of the ever-trusty TV Guide, and not only did it require your getting your butt off the couch to retrieve it, it also required the dictionary-like skill of searching and reading to figure out what was on TV. Being sisters, we did the usual "You get it." "No, YOU get it." "Why don't YOU get it?" crap, which ultimately resulted in neither of us getting it. So, naturally, neither of us scaredy cats realized that The Exorcist was starting on TNT. Out of nowhere, Linda Blair's face suddenly appeared and we knew we were in serious trouble. Especially because the remote control was on top of the TV. Which meant walking right up to Split Pea Soup's face to get the remote. We were petrified. "Hurry up! Get the remote control so I can change the channel!" "YOU get the remote control!" "Why don't YOU get the remote control?!"

If we'd only had a brain.

Lazy, petrified idiots that we were, neither of us got the remote. We wound up sitting through 2 entire hours of The Exorcist with almost-exploding bladders- damn if we were getting up to go to that bathroom by ourselves!- and proceeded to cover our ears and sing, "LALALALALALA!!" through FOUR MORE hours of Parts II AND III. Because of course it was A Very Spooktacular Halloween Marathon on TNT, which anybody who bothered to retrieve the TV Guide would have known. And of course, neither of us was getting that close to Linda Blair to get the remote to change the channel. I have never had to pee so bad in my entire life! I was certain that the sheer pressure would surely cause my bladder to implode before the end of Part II. Stupid Fredo.

Thankfully, I'm not being haunted by anything remotely Exorcist-like. No, my apparitions are more along the lines of Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past. More specifically, the Ghost of Uncompleted Christmas Past Projects. Determined not to let the Ghost of Christmas Past become the Ghost of Christmast Present, I am working feverishly to get gifts crossed off the never-ending list this year. Case in point: Yukon Leaves in KnitPicks Dye-Your-Own-Sock-Yarn Merino. After seeing Jane's absolutely lovely version, I made a mental note of the pattern for Christmas gift socks. In spite of the Size 1 dpn's, it knit up relatively fast. I like the wide squared-off toe. I'm really enjoying this pattern and am hoping to have a completed pair by this weekend. We shall see. I play this slightly demented compulsive game with myself where I create personal timelines and then try to beat them- not just with projects, but with individual rows, even. My own personal game of chicken, I guess. And then I wonder why Stinky's so deranged with the jack-o-lanterns!

Speaking of which, and mostly because I know I can't milk this much past today, here are some gratuitous Halloween pics of The Scarecrows formerly known as Bossy and Stinky. Surprisingly, they were very good little scarecrows and were rewarded with lots of treats in the Land Of Oz, otherwise known as The Mall. Unfortunately, much to their chagrin, the Wicked Witch of the West swooped down and confiscated their loot. She cackled as she promised that they could trade their spoils for one future unknown and unnamed toy. Being young scarecrows, they fell for her evil scheme. Oh, if they'd only had a brain!