Thursday, October 27, 2005

double trouble

There are certain things in life that I prefer be non-identical. Like people. Identical twins freak me out. Take, for instance, my cousins, Jan and Jean. Their names are the only distinguishing feature that differentiate the two. And only by one vowel, at that! Same hair, same eyes, same stature, same mannerisms; they might as well be the slanty-eyed version of Sweet Valley High. And while I'm sure there are people who can tell them apart, I am not one of those people. Which proved to be quite unfortunate for me at Jean's wedding. Or Jan's. I'm still not entirely sure whose wedding I attended. What I do know is that hugging the bride-to-be and telling her that she'll make a beautiful matron of honor at her sister's wedding is not a good thing. In my defense, she (as in the bride, whichever one she was) was wearing a baby blue satin dress. Which, at any normal sappy wedding would scream "Can-you-believe -the-ugly-lengths-my-sister-will go-to-to-make-herself-look-better -than me- Bridesmaid's -dress." Unless, of course, you're at Jean's/Jan's nouveau wedding, where the bride wears blue and her matron-of-honor identical twin sister wears white. In any case, Jean/Jan wasn't very happy with me. It was a little difficult to backpedal once she turned to the tux-clad man on her right and introduced him pointedly as "Brian... you know, as in my husband-to-be?" Dislodging the Sasquatch foot from my mouth, I managed to flash a weak smile before I made a beeline for the open bar.

Conversely, there are certain things in life that I prefer be identical. Like socks. Image hosted by Photobucket.comWhy I seem incapable of knitting a pair of truly identical twins, I cannot, for the life of me, understand. Clearly, taking 2 seconds to jot down the number of pattern repeats in the first leg and instep so as to be able to replicate it in the second leg and instep would make entirely too much sense. As a result, the finally completed Go-With-the-Flow-Jan is about 1/2" shorter than Jean.Image hosted by Photobucket.com Which, were it true in real life, totally might have saved me at the wedding, but that's beside the point. And, as I am definitely in the crapper with Jan and/or Jean in real life, I found it only appropriate to model these would-be-twins likewise.Image hosted by Photobucket.com On the upside, I learned a new technique for picking up heel stitches the pretty way from Grumperina's tutorial. Ah, very pretty, indeed! So easy, yet so understatedly elegant.

As I recall, I later received a rather curt thank-you note from Jan/Jean signed, "Sincerely yours." Ouch. The sad irony is that while I can still recall the "Sincerely yours," I cannot, for the life of me, remember whether it was signed by Jan or Jean!

21 comments:

kimberly said...

You write so well! It's so fun reading your posts. So cute. Love the socks. I've given up on trying for perfection and symmetry. Hey who is symmetric in real life anyway? Identical? Who needs it, yours have character.

Lynda said...

Love the Jan/Jean socks, and the story! For the life of me, I have yet to make a perfect pair of twin socks too! Don't even get me going on self-striping yarn!

Karen said...

Do you really have so many funny stories from your life - or are you making some of these up? Either way, I don't care; they sure make for some terrific reading. Who ever heard of a bride wearing blue and a maid of honor wearing white?

The socks look fine to my amateur eye. :)

anne said...

The socks look great -- I love that pattern. And you probably won't see the tops of them in regular wear. And the "slanty eyed version of SVH" made me choke on my coffee! :)

Terby said...

Great socks! Mine have yet to be identical. Usually, this is a good thing, as it means I have fixed a mistake the second time around.

I know what you mean about identical twins. One of my friends is a twin. I have never met her sister, and really don't want to. It's hard to imagine a second version of her out in the world.

Tam said...

Hi! New reader here (via Lolly's blog). I have the same problem you have with socks being non-identical. I've just decided to EMBRACE it. ha! Saves lots of angst. I feel your pain about the wedding foot-in-mouth. I did that in July to DH's cousins. The sisters are not even twins and don't look THAT much alike. I hugged the MOH sister and said, "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you." at the rehearsal dinner only to walk farther into the room and see the bride with a "BRIDE" T-shirt on. And there was no bar in sight. At least you had alcohol. sigh

Anonymous said...

Personally i think your socks look identical.. so i don't see a problem.. and it was their own fault that they wore the WRONG colored dresses.. ugh.. the nerve.. haha :-) no loss if they couldn't understand the mixup grr.. :-) karola

Anonymous said...

by the way isn't it tradition for asian women to wear red as the bride? and i thought white was for death? karola again

Acornbud said...

Great socks! Did you stay up til the wee hours to finish them? Your UFO pile must be empty now.
Great story. j&J should wear labels :)

Agnes said...

Nice socks nice socks! I also suffer from the same fear of two socks not being the same!
And you got tagged! You can find the questions on my blog. Have a nice weekend.

Agnes said...

Nice socks nice socks! I also suffer from the same fear of two socks not being the same!
And you got tagged! You can find the questions on my blog. Have a nice weekend.

keohinani said...

well, i for one like twins and dream of having a set of my own...though that's not going to happen since twins don't run in the family :(
i've been pretty good at telling twins apart; i find the most difficulty in differentiating them when i call them on the phone.
wow, you must've posted right when you got home! the athletic trainer i had in college said that people naturally have feet / legs of different lengths. the girl i weightlift with went to the seamstress to have her pants hemmed, and though the pants fit her perfectly, the seamstress said that the pants (when laid flat) have one leg about an inch longer than the other.
last notes: that's curry house's menu in the bg (ala moana location); the station was 93.9; and it was great chatting w/ you :) wouldn't want you knitting alone over there...don't know who'd be more scared: the people walking by seeing a woman knit a sock feverishly by herself, or you with nothing for defense but your bamboo sock needles and a can of pepper spray? oy.

amylovie said...

Jan/Jean set you up for that. She was wearing blue for crying out loud. Please!

Amy

knittinmom said...

Isn't part of the fun of hand-knit socks that they're NOT identical? I think they look great, mismatched or not!

And look at all your new commenters! You're going to be the next Yarn Harlot, aren't you, and I'll be able to say I knew you when...

Laura said...

Hey there! Bee-you-tee-ful socks!I think they look close enough to be twins.

I once had a boss who was an identical twin. The weird thing was, they were both tax lawyers, heads of the tax departments of (different) very large Texas-based law firms, and they both had been Assistant Treasury Secretary for Tax Policy (in different administrations). It was a little strange. I think he had pictures of his brother and him in his office so we would all know they were actually two different people!

Jen said...

I don't think you can tell that they're 1/2" different. Unless of course you're wearing them with shorts or a short skirt and have them pulled all the way up standing with your feet together. Then maybe but that won't happen too often, so don't worry about it! You're starting to take after me with the OCD. Great little lacy pattern, btw.

Allison said...

OOH! You are a lucky winner! Congratulations!!!Thanks so much for entering the contest and for all of your lovely comments on my knitting projects. Get in touch with me, and I will send the yarn to you soon :) By the way, your post is hilarious and the socks look very nice as fraternal twins.

Lolly said...

Hello dear Chris! We are preparing to leave this lovely island, and I am a sad... I had such a lovely time while I was here though! Thank you for the wonderful afternoon, once again! I so enjoyed meeting you and your beautiful family :)

... and I love your socks!!!

myra said...

I think they look great and for the life of me I don't see the difference. Besides, having them be slightly different makes them more interesting, whimsical even!

BTW, I love reading the stories that lead to your knitting post!! :)

Alison said...

I like fraternal socks, which is a good thing because I'd probably be too lazy to try and match them up anyway:) I did cast-on for the gloves; I like the Palette yarn.

Lisa said...

Ooops!

Your socks look great, though!
I'm so jealous that you got to meet Lolly ;)