The Orange Letter

Tutti Frutti is done! Ever mindful of the genteel nature of this audience, I tried to spare you direct bowl shots, but yes, you are in my bathroom again. Which really wasn't supposed to happen again. With just the toe shaping left, I was confident that Tutti Frutti could be completed by lunch today. I anticipated fun, outdoorsy frolicking pics with sand and surf, grass and sky, but alas, it wasn't to be. Instead, here I am at 11:30 pm, barely coherent, taking pictures of my feet in the bathroom. Indulge me, if you will, as I recount the sock saga.

Something was bound to go wrong today. It was one of those eerie days. Moms, you know what I'm talking about. The kind of day where the kids share with each other willingly, pick up their toys the first time you ask and apologize to their siblings without prompting, deluding you into some false sense of security about your competence as a parent. Yep, verrry eerie. All day, I kept waiting for the other sock to drop.

Eerie occurrence #1: Bossy and Stinky haven't seen Hairy Legs since Suday because he's been working till 10 pm every night. Which means it's been just me and them, all day, all night, all week. Which would normally set them off into a tizzy. It did yesterday, it will tomorrow, but not today, oh no. They kissed Hairy Legs goodbye and happily carried on.
Eerie occurrence #2: I take the kids to Wal-Mart to pick up some odds and ends and nothing happens. No whining, no crying, no poop hazmat explosions, no hiding my face behind grocery bags as I book it to the van.
Eerie occurrence #3: Bossy and Stinky eat lunch! Not only do they eat the pasta salad I serve, they also eat the broccoli and celery in the salad without any evil eye prompt.
Eerie occurrence #4: I park at gymnastics today. At the building, instead of 5 blocks away like I usually have to, hauling butt, Bossy and Stinky to make it to gymnastics 5 minutes late.
Truly Eerie occurrence #5: I am gifted with simultaneously napping children- children who never nap. Napping together. Simultaneously.

So I guess it should have come as no surprise to me when karmic justice came in the form of Tutti Frutti. Still, I was caught unawares. Subscribing to the boyscout motto, I was duly prepared for the antitheses to the aforementioned eerie occurrences, but I was completely unprepared for sock madness. I finished Frutti before dinner, with only the Kitchener left to go...or so I thought. Just for kicks, I pull out Tutti to compare. And realize that Frutti is over an inch shorter, in spite of following the same pattern. Which means frogging over half the sock to get back to the foot. Stupidly, I pull all the dpns out and start ripping with abandon, when it suddenly occurrs to me that I have no idea where needle 1, which should be perfectly centered over the heel, is supposed to begin. The ensuing panic attack could be likened to Joe Rogan appearing and unveiling the 8 goat testicles I have to eat to win Fear Factor. (Which, for the record, I would totally eat for $50,000. Do you know how much yarn 50 grand could buy??!)

I finally figure out where 1 begins and 3 ends, but not before endless trials and countless errors till past 10 pm. Then I get stocki-cocky thinking how boring all-stockinette is (You'd think I would've learned my lesson after the Hoodie pocket) and incur stocki-cocky-bachi (karmic crap) in messing up all my decreases. Again. Suffice it to say that I had to frog Frutti to the beginning of the foot more than three times today.

But, all's well that ends well, and Tutti and Frutti ended pretty well. Almost identical except for the distinction of Frutti's possessed orange toe. It's his Orange Letter, I suppose, the burden he must wear, brandishing the (many!) errors of his ways. Apparently, though, Frutti repented just in time....with only one yard left in the skein, his number would've REALLY been up!!