it's the little things

Sorry, Texas gals, but I think smaller is better.

For starters, my hands are small. My handwriting is small. My eyes are small. (I'm Asian. There were no expectations otherwise.) Bossy and Stinky are pretty small. And they're mostly okay. (Tongue-in-cheek, people. No Joan Crawford here.) And I got my second bachelors in, you guessed it, microbiology. While other micro majors got jobs working with large domesticated animals, I got a job working with the teeniest, tiniest of creatures in Entomology. Even within Bug Purgatory itself, I opted to work with the smallest of insects. While the other doctor-wanna-be's down the hall dissected large Madagascan Cockroaches, I stayed in my little nook, playing with termites. I have to admit, though, that it was mostly because those roaches were froggin' GROSS. I'm telling you, these roaches were Chernobyl huge. And they hissed. LOUDLY. And flew. They gave me the willies. But I digress.

Even within my tiny nook, I didn't study the termites themselves. Oh no, I investigated the microscopic bacteria that grew inside their miniscule tummies. How do you study that, you might ask? Well, basically, you grab a termite with what amounts to an eyebrow tweezer, dip it in ethyl alcohol to sterilize it (or murder it, if you want to be technical), pass it through a lava-hot flame to ensure that it's "clean" (and dead, apparently) and, just to make sure it's really FUBAR, you grab its anus and puuuuulllll the alimentary tract out in one fell swoop. You take the disemboweled viscera and place it in a little tube with minute volumes of various chemicals and spin the crap out of it (figuratively and literally) at rates that make the Indy 500 look like a ferris wheel ride. You don't even want to know how many extended termite families I murdered in the name of science. You don't have to be a Jain to be horrified. But the most horrifying part was that I was uncannily good at it. The small tweezers, small termites and small intestines suited me well.

So where is this all going? Well, as I said, smaller is better, at least in my book. Smaller needles, that is. Anything over size 5's and I feel like a fish out of water. I moan and groan about the toothpick size 1's in the sock knitting, but truth be told, I get off on those little needles. Maybe it's because I have small hands, I don't know. (Can anyone tell me what small hands mean in a female?) As things stand now though, I have a load of things that need to get knitted for Christmas that don't necessarily involve small needles. Case in point: the Om Yoga Mat Bag, which I'm working on for my very pregnant, very crunchy friend, Ali, whose favorite color, unfortunately for me, happens to be traffic-cone orange. This offensive traffic-cone shade is exacerbated by the 100% cotton Bernat yarn, which has about as much give as hard, stale spaghetti. The sole redeeming factor in this knit is being able to use the single pair of Addi Turbos I own in size 7. Even the Addi's, though, can't detract from how big and awkward the size 7's feel in my hands. This lace pattern knit up super quickly and was simple to memorize. That said, however, I'd highly advise against knitting lace while reading the subtitles in a Japanese historical drama and simultaneously ogling the incredibly magnetic and unbelievably handsome main character. I assure you this will result in multiple FUBAR rows. Just in case, you know, you ever happen to be in that situation. Here's a shot to help visualize what the bag will look like. It's about 24" long and 13" in circumference. I'm hoping it'll look more impressive with the mat actually in it. I casted-on Monday night and aside from the one inch of pattern repeat I have left, the knitting is basically done. I just need to seam it up and thread the drawstring through. Yeah, who am I kidding, just seam it up? I have yet to discover the joy in seaming. Kitchener, yes. Seaming, no thanks. Still, I'm hopeful that I can get this done by this weekend. Don't anybody call me out on that one. ;-)

Honestly, the whole Termite Eraser thing still disturbs me. I've taken a lot of showers to purge myself of the stench of death, so it's been cathartic to recount my darker days. I don't want to end this post with Sweeney-Todd overtones, though, so on a lighter note, I'll be tackling my Crazy Christmas Knit-List in the coming weeks. Bags, phone cozies and socks, oh my! It's always a Three Ring Circus of sorts around here...Or, in my small world, a Three Ring Flea Circus, at least!

Postscript: As much as I LOVE blog reading and blogging, my online appearances may become sporadic at best as the end of the semester crunches down on me. I have 5 major papers and 2 presentations worth 80% of my grade due in the next 4 weeks, and being the procrastinator that I am, I have a LOT of work to do. (C'mon, it's not like they give us a syllabus that explicity outlines assignments and due dates at the beginning of the semester or anything crazy like that!) That said, I truly appreciate all the time you spend reading my drivel and I love getting to know you through your comments and blogs. I'll try my best to post and comment when I can, and I'm promising myself lots of yarn as incentive to stay on track. :-)