Sunday, November 06, 2005

a whole new world

Momma did it a while back, so I decided to do it, too. I've been hiding out from my blog.

There are only so many WIP sock pics you can post before someone's going to call you out on them. You know it's all downhill when it's you who calls your own bluff. And since being called out by oneself is neither fun nor sane (think DSM IV), I did what any self-respecting, definitely neurotic and possibly psychotic knitter would do. I hid.

And I knit furiously.

And in my haste, sock #2 almost wound up FUBAR ("frogged up" beyond all recognition, for all you non-Tango and Cash fans). Dropped stitches, forgotten yarn-overs- I frogged so many times, I began to think I was over. All the old adages came to mind. Haste makes waste. Slow and steady wins the race. You'd think I'd know this by now. Especially after Linguistics 410, Phonetic Transcription.

It was finals week, my junior year in college, and in spite of all my best intentions, I wound up pulling an almost-all-nighter studying for my Linguistics exam. Thinking an hour of rest would be better than nothing, I set my alarm for 7 in order to make my 7:30 am final. Dr. Condax had been exceedingly clear that no exceptions would be made for those who accidentally overslept the 7:30 am final. Oh, I set my alarm for 7:00, alright. 7 PM, not 7 AM. By the grace of the linguistics gods, I somehow woke up at 7:40 am, absolutely panic-stricken. There was no time for creature comforts. No toothbrushing, no deodorant, no breakfast. Fueled by pure adrenaline, I flew around my room, flying my jeans on while simultaneously pulling my hair into a ponytail and grabbing my #2 pencil. I grabbed my keys and hauled butt to the Linguistics Department.

The test had already begun, but Dr. Condax graciously allowed me to take the final. She gave me a very funny once-over and slowly handed me my blue ledger book. With all my commotion, the whole class stopped to look at me. Was it my imagination or were they all staring at me funny? Since I hadn't brushed my teeth, I just gave everyone a curt and apologetic nod and took my seat, my mind racing. Could my breath have been that bad? I hadn't even opened my mouth! I opened my ledger book and started glancing over the test questions when I finally saw him. Abu, the monkey. On my belly. My eyes moved slowly right. Jasmine, the princess. Still unbelieving, my eyes shifted left. Aladdin, holding his lamp. The full horror started to sink in as I read the inscription over my left boob: The Genie: Often imitated, but never duplicated. Disney's Aladdin. The inscription on my knee-length Aladdin nightgown!! The Aladdin nightgown that I was wearing, in class, with jeans and my unbrushed teeth. I wanted to die. So I did what any self-respecting, possibly neurotic and definitely smelly speech pathology student would do. I hid in the back of the room and finished the exam furiously before running back to the dorms, laughing hysterically the whole way.

As with Phonetic Transcription, haste makes waste, but all's well that ends well. And so without further ado... Tada! Completed Yukon Leaves! Knit Picks dye-your-own 100% merino fingering wt. yarn
Size 1 Brittany Birch dpn's, Began: 10/29/05 Completed: 11/06/05

The only modification I made to this pattern was to continue the lace down the entire instep instead of ending it at the leg as depicted in the pattern. While I'm pleased with the result, I'm really hoping that my friend will enjoy this Christmas gift, too. I've never really spent time staring at her feet before (I'm neurotic, not weird), so I'm also hoping she doesn't have unusually large or wide feet as this quasi-cable pattern doesn't stretch too well.
I'm loving Grumperina's technique for picking up heel stitches. It really eliminates a lot of the ugly puckering that used to plague the sides of my sock heels. But my absolutely favorite part of this pattern? Kitchener stitch over 24 stitches. I'm sick and twisted, I know. But I finally feel like Kitchener stitch is starting to intuitively click. Definite progress over my previous attempts with the Vogue Companion held open by my toes, shoulders on my ears to block out all sound, chanting "Knit, knit, purl, purl!" with increasing volume, while continually hissing SHUSH! at Bossy and Stinky so my toe didn't wind up FUBAR.

Thankfully, I've managed to escape FUBAR twice with this pair of completed socks and an A in linguistics. And as for the infamous Aladdin nightgown? Well, suffice it to say that it's now R.I.P. in a whole new world!


36 comments:

Karen said...

So happy to have you back again!!! Although I knew you were okay, because you've been nice enough to leave comments - I missed reading your blog. The socks came out perfect!!!! It must be kind of hard to give them away (a skill I will need to learn to aqquire). And, of course, I loved the Aladdin nightgown story. Tee hee!!

Jenn said...

I overslept my 8 am first semester first final in "history of the bible." However, since people were still in the classroom when I showed up, my professor let me take it. I was not, unfortunately, wearing an Aladdin nightgown. Oh the horror! :)
But the socks look great! And I know how you feel about the kitchener. Once you get it it's like magic how it makes the toe so pretty!

Alison said...

I went to a women's college for three years, so showing up in pajamas was actually a regular occurrence. The socks look wonderful!

Anonymous said...

Lovely socks! They are going to be a wonderful gift. Your friend is very lucky.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Sorka said...

Ahh! You have lived the nightmare and survived to tell about it!

I still have nightmares about missing classes, and then finding my self at the final exam thinking I hadn't ever been to the class what am I supposed to do!!

Just think if you hadn't shown up in that nightgown the prof probably wouldn't have let you take the test!! It was a good thing!

Beautiful socks!! Absolutely stunning!
Denise
http://kwon.relatedhelp.com

Terby said...

The socks are gorgeous! I know what you mean about learning to love Kitchener.

Your post needed a warning today - I almost spit coffee all over my computer! Very funny.

mamma said...

Those socks are gorgeous. I adore them.
How sad is it that I knew what fubar was.

Anna said...

The socks are gorgeous!!! If your friend doesn't like them, you can send them my way!! ;)

knittinmom said...

Very nice! You've inspired me to make a pair, and I think they look much better w/ the lace pattern on the foot (does that make them uncomfortable with shoes, though?).

You have the best stories - I keep trying to think up funny things from my past to blog about, but I don't have anything compared to you!

Acornbud said...

Great college story:)
Your socks came out beautfiful and well work the wait. Your friend is so lucky. The solid work so well to show off the lace. I'll have to check out the heel method when I get to another sock.

keohinani said...

omg, i LOVED that movie! i think i was in like, sixth or seventh grade when it came out, and my best friend and i would watch it multiple times and take turns being all the characters so we could rotate singing parts! we'd rewind so many times, i think we broke her copy. don't even get me started when the animaniacs soundtrack came out. ohhh boy... craziness!!! hehe.
awesome socks! really great job on them! with the speed you churn out socks, you make it look so easy :) no more SSS for you!

Lynda said...

Oh yeah, I had forgotten about FUBAR!

The story is tooooo funny!, but the socks are gorgeous. I was just telling my girls this morning, I'm too selfish to give stuff I've knitted away... After all the time I put into it, I want it for ME. I really should work oh that...

Alison said...

Me again! Knitting Fair Isle Mittens and Gloves by Carol Noble. Fair Isle is actually pretty easy and these are small projects to get used to it all. The gloves were my first Fair Isle. Email me at alianne dot hunny at verizon dot net (replacing the "dot"s and "at", of course) if you have any questions and I'll try to answer!

Cheryl said...

The socks are JUST GORGEOUS...I really need to get that book!!

Danielle said...

Bee-yoo-tiful socks!!! And in just about a week, too! When do you have time to do this??

Say said...

The socks turned out beautifully!

Your need to tackle UFO's of the sock variety is also in the air out here on the eastern coast. At least, I've finally made some headway with a lacy pair I began, many, many months ago.

keohinani said...

your buttons and your links for "the giving flower" and "knitting in the valley" are switched. fyi.
cuz i love scoping out all the new links you put on your page, and when i moused over the buttons, the links didn't match up. and you think YOU'RE the crazy psycho? you're absolutely normal! ;)
those things are tricky, no? i have to write down the url's of the pages i want to include or else i won't know which goes where. html = another language. ;P

christine said...

I'm loving those sockies too!!! And, yes, I did visit your blog a few weeks ago, and I still think that bossy, stinky and hairy legs are cute! I still have nightmares that I'm sitting down to take a calculus final exam, but somehow I forgot to attend ANY of the classes for that semester.....oops!

Teresa said...

Those socks rock! Beautiful work, and glad you are back. FUBAR. Tango & Cash. Oversleeping on exam day. Going to class in pjs. Ahhh...the memories.
;-)

Allison said...

Oh they are beautiful! Congratulations :) And belatedly for doing splendidly on your pajama exam heehee.
And the bedspread in your pictures - it is fantastic (I'm so crazed for pink right now)!

amylovie said...

I knew what FUBAR was. Am I cool or what? (maybe if I keep saying it, I will actually become cool!)

Your socks are gorgeous, and in 8 days no less! Amazing.

Amy

Lolly said...

Dear Chris, I am sorry for my late comment. Life got in the way (well, actually school) but I am sure you would understand--sounds like school is keeping you busy too!

Your new socks are lovely ;) I can't believe how fast you whipped them up. Way to go!

I am updating Socktoberfest now!

Mary said...

Love the socks! I think you made the right decision to carry the pattern down into the foot, it looks lovely.

Lisa said...

Those turned out so beautifully! I love them in the off-white color-- just gorgeous.

winnie said...

beautiful socks. simply stunning.

Bear Knits said...

Beautiful! I was grinning on the kitchener chant - I do the same chant myself.

thatfarmgirl said...

LOL on the nightgown story. I once wore different socks and different shoes to class (at the SAME time). Speaking of which, your socks are so nice!

erin said...

your socks are so lovely, and your story is so funny. :)

Sheryl said...

I am so behind in blogging...I am glad I didn't miss anything. You, once again, made my day! I will have to try the chant, although the I have sat in exactly that position many times. Even at 47 I feel hip because I know what FUBAR means. Your socks ROCK!

Jen said...

You are too funny! Your socks are beautiful and Aladdin never goes out of style. And I too love kitchener!

keohinani said...

too much yarn lying around and not enough time to knit it all up makes a knitter very anxious. right? can't just be me. i hope... :)
the sock yarns are especially mad at me. they call me a socktoberfest dropout / poser / wannabe. they said they want to run away to your house so they can be made into socks or play with bossy & stinky instead of sit idle in their cubby. *sigh*
they shut up when i stuck the patons sock yarn in front of them, though. that'll learn 'em! spiteful little things.
so what's next on your project list?

Kim said...

That story is hysterical!! I love those socks they turned out great! Happy knitting:)

Jenn said...

Your socks look great! I am thinking that I might have to give that pattern a try...

When I was in college, there were a few weeks during one extra stressful semester that I woke up late for class and couldn't figure out what I why, because I knew that I had set the alarm correctly the night before. Then one night I woke up to find myself resetting the alarm. Doh!

myra said...

Hee, hee! I love your stories!! I still have dreams where I'm supposed to be taking a final and I've overslept.

The socks look amazing! If I created such a wonderful pair, I don't think I could bear to hide them in shoes!

Casey said...

Those are the most beautiful socks!! If I had just seen the pattern, I wouldn't have looked twice but your socks make me want to knit them! The pattern shows up so beautifully in the natural color and continuing the pattern down the foot makes them so beautiful!! Great work!

kimberly said...

As always your story is great! I love those socks, you did an amazing job!!!