Tuesday, December 13, 2005

clarion call (x3!)

Let it be known that classes are finally done!! I handed in my last paper this morning and sold my book back to the mafioso bookstore. Being the bookworm that I am, that felt a little like blasphemy, but hey, that's darned decent yarn money! I feel so liberated. Speaking of liberation (seamless segue, I know) brings me to clarion cry #1. . .Ghetto knitters of the world unite!! Give me your socioeconomically disadvantaged, your poor, your huddled masses with Susan Bates aluminum needles yearning to be free! My fellow ghetto knitter girl, Olga, designed this fab button and came up with the idea to do a "You know you 're a ghetto knitter when..." post, inviting all you other ghetto knitters out there to rally with us by posting your credentials in comments or posts of your own. Olga's already come clean, loud and proud- check out her impressive ghetto CV! For the benefit of ghetto knitters everywhere, I'm officially coming out of the closet now. Hopefully this won't be as traumatic as admitting that I'm a Clay fan. Or admitting to being a Josh Groban fan. Apparently, I've got some weird thing for skinny, dorky good boys. Again, I blame my mom for making me unnaturally obsessed with Barry Manilow in kindergarten. Oh, the flashbacks and therapy!! Subsequent, my ghetto knitter resume in full:

You know you're a ghetto knitter when...
1) You go to Borders on a mission to find a copy of the latest IK. . .not to purchase (you can only afford that off of Ebay a season later when the price drops by half), but to find the latest Knit Picks free shipping code, which you furiously scribble on the back of your hand and milk for all it's worth till next season.
2) You wonder if trusty, loyal Knit Picks is turning Benedict Arnold on you, selling the likes of Ambrosia and Panache at freaking $6.99 a ball. "What's next, angora?" you mutter to yourself in disgust.
3) Your "knitting library" and the public library are one and the same.
4) The librarian recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call to claim your knitting library for another three weeks.
5) You're reduced to stealing gnarled hair elastics off your daughter's stinky head because you refuse to pay for stitch markers.
6) You can passionately articulate the subtle nuance differences between Red Heart, Caron and Bernat acrylic.
7) That said, you hoard your Caron Simply Soft for your "good projects" only.
8) You unabashedly ask your LYS owner for $2 parking validation after recklessly blowing 5 bucks on an impulse purchase of Plymouth Encore.

Give it up for Ghetto Knitters, the true blue collar bones of the craft! Take a button and spread the love. Many thanks to Olga for conceiving and lending her passionate voice to the new Ghetto Renaissance Movement!

Speaking of Renaissance Movements (note seamless segue #2), brings me to clarion cry #2. Throwers unite and stand proud! Pickers may revel in all the glory, but it's time for English knitters to throw their way to bursitis and the forefront! Check out Laura's awesome buttons and stand tall!

And finally, clarion call #3: Lelah is DONE!! And just in time for Holiday Countdown KAL day tomorrow. Sewing the casing for the elastic wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Please excuse the glaring white unmentionables. Compared to the prospect of looking at a top-commando pic, I think the white bra is quite the acceptable alternative. The second shot is truer to the actual color (of Lelah, not the undergarment!), which is a deep red; the ribbon is actually a creme color. I thought about going with a black ribbon, but decided against it, thinking it might look a little too ooh-la-la. This is for my baby sis, after all. I'm actually pretty pleased with the way this turned out, especially post-blocking (on garbage bags and old towels with pushpins, ghetto-style, of course!). As I mentioned in my last post, this Lelah's way too tight for me (hence my weird getting-squeezed-like a -tube-of-toothpaste posture), but that'll be a good thing for The Mercenary, who is taller, thinner, much younger and much more fit than I am. Having just re-read that last sentence, I've since decided that I hate her. I'm considering adding a v-strap halter, so if anyone has any ideas on how to accomplish that other than Icord, I'd appreciate any advice.

Lastly, having been duly inspired, I leave you with my latest attempt at being a good, crafty mom. I based these advent calendars on a cookie ribbon that my aunt made for me when I was born. She has since passed away, but using the cookie ribbon she made me year after year is one of my most cherished holiday memories. Now, if Stinky can just manage to leave the cookies and Honey Boro tied to the ribbon long enough to become a memory, I'm hoping the tradition will become a cherished one for she and Bossy, too!

38 comments:

Cat said...

Oh, Lelah is just fantastic. I want that, but I am not that thin to wear it... "See" you on Saturday I think... I will be home on Friday but I guess that I just want to sleep then..

Karen said...

I love your cookie ribbons . . . and it's even more special because it's a tradition handed down from your aunt. What a nice tradition to share with Bossy and Stinky. You did a fabulous job on Lelah - and I think it looks great on you too - you have such a trim, cute little figure. Are you sure you've been pregnant twice??? Kisses from a fellow throwing ghetto knitter who has recently discovered the glory that is the library.

kimberly said...

Lelah is gorgeous. That red is so pretty and you look great in it too. I see you haven't been eating half of the holiday goodies I've managed to waffle down. Your sister will love it. I have one of those gorgeous, thin, loved-by-all sisters too. Typical.

Lolly said...

Seeing you in that, I think you need one for yourself! You sexy thing ;) I bet J was liking it! Your sister will love it. (Now, if Mimi comes over and sees this she is gonna ask for one!) The red is so pretty!!

Cute advent calendars too - you are so crafty ;)

xo

Talitha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Talitha said...

Lelah looks so amazing. Good for you! I like her the way she is -- strapless, but what do I know about what your sister would prefer? Yah, that's right, nothing. Did you know we had so much in common? Both ghetto and throwers? Wow. I admit that your ghettoness is more original and ingenious (sp) than mine. Good on ya, sista!

P.S. That deleted comment is from me. I realized something that I typed made no sense and couldn't figure out any other way to fix it. It's still early for me, ha.

Lynda said...

Lelah is beautiful, and what a perfect fit!

Love the advent calendars. Reminds me of the ones my mom used to make.

Oh, and - Go Throwers, Go Throwers!!

=joy= said...

what a fantastic LELAH!!! does christine [knitting for boozehags] know??? tell her and she'll post you on her gallery! i met her last year during the maryland sheep & wool festival and she is a ridiculously awesome rock/crafty/metal mom... reminding me, i should really see her before i go... hmm... oh, regarding straps, check her gallery (http://knittingforboozehags.com/gallery/lelah-top-gallery) - i believe there is one person that added these really cute straps to hers.

and cute cookie advent calendars! what a great idea.

great job all around, neighbor! ^_^

Talitha said...

Oh, and congrats on finishing school for the semester! Enjoy the time "off"!

Acornbud said...

Congratulatins on finishing school! What a relief that must me.
I wonder what it is with baby sisters...so thin and beautiful, heh..we loves them anyway:) Lelah is quite spectacular, what a color!
Cookie Advent calendar...nice idea and tasty, too.
Your ghetto knitter list cracked me up.

Kim said...

Your Lelah looks great! I love the advent calendars--what a cute idea--I may have to steal that one :)

Olga said...

(!!!scream!!!) Your Lelah is gorgeous!!! I love it!!! It came out so well! It looks absolutely adorable on you, so I don't know what you're talking about Willis,with the toothpaste comment. I also think the cream ribbon looks better than the black would have, more sweet Valentine than French whore.

And your ghetto list...par excellence! LOL! So hysterical. Although, I finally have to vent...what is it with all of this knitting goodness lurking at the local library? I was convinced it was a myth--the only books I've been able to find at mine are, like, from the 80s, where the models have big dolman shoulders and even bigger hair! But then you mentioned your library, and Grumperina got Handknit Holidays out of hers...waaahhh! Just because we're in Texas, man, doesn't mean we don't knit!

Congrats on finishing the semester, babe! Isn't it a huge relief? I know what you mean about the evil bookstore mafia...almost as bad as the evil Cingular empire! :-)

christine said...

Congrats on the semester end - Boy, do I remember that feeling. Hope you don't get the nightmares that I did (and still do) - Did I really take the final, or was I dreaming then?
The Lelah is pefection!!! Oh, la la......Will need to see a picture of the mercenary in her new top!!!

Danielle said...

Lelah looks fab! I hope your sister appreciates it properly. Now you'll have to excuse me, but I'm off to go snag a Knitpicks discount code from an IK I did not purchase. When I'm done, I'll get busy throwing some ack-rylic yarn! (Ahem. I must admit an addiction to Addi needles, though. But, in the spirit of true ghetto knitters, I learned to do the "magic loop" method so that I only had to buy one Addi in each needle size, all with 40" cords :))

And, congrats on finishing your semester! My hubby has one more week to go, and I can't wait!

Agnes said...

The Mercenary is taller, thinner, younger and more fit? Oh man, she must be a bomb! You already wear Lelah very well, can't imagine how gorgeous The Mercenary would look. Lelah is beautiful ... only that I still don't have the courage to wear something like that ... and I think my husband wouldn't appreciate that too much either ... hahaha ...

Tam said...

My ghetto contributions:
1. I steal my husband's metal washers to use as stitch markers.
2. I carry my projects around in huge Zip-Lock bags that I bought on sale at Big Lots.
3. I store my yarn in plastic bins and drawer thingies bought at Big Lots.
4. One of the aforementioned bins contains about 40 skeins of Wool-ease.
5. Knit Picks is actually a pretty high-end online retailer. I've spent several hard earned ghetto dollars on www.smileysyarns.com and ebay. Elann.com gives some fancy yarn satisfaction to ghetto knitters too by marking their stuff WAYYY down.
6. I'm actually a ghetto yarn snob. I turn my nose up at Red Heart. I have to have the GOOD STUFF. I prefer Lion Brand Homespun. (so there)

I throw too. Can I be in the club? haha

mamma said...

Welcome to the Ghetto. Of course we're all throwers in the ghetto. Picking is to refined for us.

I'm just drooling over Lelah. It looked great on you. Will you be my sister?

Sonya said...

Oh that end of the semester lighter-than -air feeling... congrats on another semester down. Lelah is gorgeous! The Mercenary is a very lucky sister; she gets Lelah and she's younger, skinnier and fitter than young, skinny, fit YOU!

I love the Ghetto knitter list. I loves me the Caron Simply Soft. I made a baby blanket with it as one of my very first projects. I pull it out now and then and just pet it. That's good acrylic, darn it!

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy your posts? "Oh goody! Bit of Knits posted!" ;o)

Terby said...

Yay! Classes are over!

Lelah looks great, and you totally need one for yourself. The cookie ribbon is very cute - no way would that last more than 5 minutes in my house...

myra said...

Hurrah! Congratulations on finishing all your papers and classes!!

The Lelah top looks amazing! Your sister is so lucky to have such a talented relative.

I love the cookie ribbon! I really wanted to do a advent calendar but couldn't come up with anything I liked. Even though we are 13 days into the month (oh my gosh I need to start shopping), I think I'll make one of those for my son. Maybe we can count down the 12 days to Christmas!

Thanks for the great idea and always the amazing posts!

keohinani said...

wow, i'm such a groupie. i can't relate (anymore) to any of your ghetto-fab ways, and i have this weird inclination to turn it around. makes me wanna, you know, head on over to the aiea library since it's so close to my house instead of borders or barnes & noble's needlecraft section; browse knit picks instead of k(nit)pixie; actually knit with all the Red Heart and lily & cream cotton i acquired before i found wool; go back to using bamboo skewers to make socks because i keep losing my metal dpns; redeem my HI $.05 from all the bottles in my office to scrounge up more yarn money; unravel that wool/acrylic sweater hanging in my closet that i haven't worn in three years to use the yarn; try to save my dog's hair clippings to see if i can actually spin it... *ahem* yeah.
on the flip side, i feel like i should share my stash with ghetto knitters...but then again, i wouldn't want you to lose your street cred ;P hehe.
i agree with the consensus on your lelah top and cookie ribbons. maybe you could make the straps with the same ribbon?
i'm the only girl, so my envy of my siblings was more of the "i hate that you're taller and better at video games than me!" variety. i think they relished in beating me at street fighter II, regardless of my reaching 30+ level range on tetris. though i did harbor slight envy of my SIL, pre-babies. she was tall, skinny, and a model--which explains why the babies are just adorable :)

keohinani said...

i meant the ribbon already on the top. doh!

Jenn said...

I am loving ghetto knitting! Finally, a place where I belong!

I love your Advent calendars! I haven't had one in years, maybe next year.

I hope your sister loves Lelah!

Laura said...

Hey Chris! Lelah looks beautiful! Your sister will love it and I am with Olga on where it falls on the sweet Valentine-French whore continuum. She is such a riot.

Thanks for the shout-out too! Glad you are proudly proclaiming your thrower status. Woot, woot!

Jenn said...

Lelah is gorgeous! Love the choice of white ribbon. I'm a ghetto knitter too! Woo Hoo!
The Man has been bugging me b/c we don't have a cute advent calendar like he used to have - guess I need to add that to the list!

Jennifer said...

Lelah is fantastic!!! I had to chuckle at the ghetto knitter list. I resemble some of those.

Mimi said...

Yeah! School is over, that means more knitting time!
Lelah looks gorgeous on you. You can definitely knit another one for yourself. I am sure your sister will be thrilled with the gift. I also love the santa claus cookie ribbon. And you made in two colors so that there is no mixing ups of whom has more or less cookies left out, right?

Casey said...

I love the lelah top. I started one this summer but the yarn wasn't working for me so I frogged it all. I love the pattern, though so when the weather gets warmer, I think I'll try again. Your ghetto knitter comments are hilarious! I just finished a sweater with wool-ease. It's not my favorite yarn but it was nice to not spend a ton of money!

Cheryl said...

Knit picks free shipping code??? where can I find this???

Lelah is gorgeous!!!!

Jo said...

I sure wish I had your figure! I would need some sort of cantilever device to wear a pretty tank like that! I like the advent cookie idea as well - we bought Willow a chocolate advent calendar and half the chocolates have fallen to the bottom and we can't reach them.

Jo

Dina said...

That's you in the pics and not The Mercenary? You've got nothing to be ashamed of, so go ahead and make one for yourself! Lelah rocks and your sis would love it. Loved the ghetto list -- too funny! And look at your crafty momma self with those advent calendars! How do you keep Bossy and Stinky from pilfering the bottom? Congrats on finishing classes too! Now it's knitting time!

Thanks for visiting my blog and your wonderful comments :)
I totally wasn't expecting that! Enjoy your break and KNIT!

Dina

Sandee Yo! said...

Lelah is absolutely faboo! Don't fool yourself into thinking that you aren't in good shape...you could pull Lelah off in a heartbeat! Um, wasn't meant to sound that way, but you could wear that girl!

I'm keeping my son away from your blog, he might just call CPS on me for not being a crafty mom...you should make a few dozen of those advent snowmen and sell them on your blog...I'd buy one or two!

PS Thanks for the love, really means a lot to me! Knit bloggers rule!

Say said...

Congrats on finishing up with your schoolwork! I've finally finished mine too.

I know it's a gift, but Lelah looks fabulous on you.

Stricken madchen said...

The Ghetto knitter thing is too funny! And congrats on finishing your class! I always felt so much lighter after that last final. I love your advent snowman. I bet they will love it for years to come. And your Lelah is gorgeous. You should make one for yourself, it looks great on you.

jessica said...

Love lelah, It looks great on you! I wish I could pull that off. As for the straps, have you ever done a tubular cast on?! I just learned, and absoultly love it! I think that would look polished and you could even thread an elastic band through the middle of it. Just an idea. Love the advent snowmen, I haven't been to crafty of a mom lately. oops. congrats on finishing class!

Debi said...

OMG that Lelah is sooooo stunning your Sis will kiss your feet!! And definately make one for yourself, you look amazing! Hubba Hubba :)

Jen said...

LOVE your lelah! And ghetto knitters, hehe...

Okay, traumatic admission over here too... I tripped all over myself last week to talk to Pacey Witter (okay, that's not his real name, but that's the only name I'll ever know him by) and all I could come up with was, "dude, where'd you get your shoes??". so pathetic.

Sheryl said...

Lelah is fabulous and you don't look like you are poured into it. I love the cookie advent idea. I am starting some of those kinds of traditions with my granddaughter.