Monday, April 10, 2006

public service announcement

First of all, thank you so much for all of your sweet and encouraging comments and emails this past week! I can't tell you how much your good wishes and positive thoughts mean to me. I am overwhelmed by all the love out there in knit blogland and am so grateful for your friendship and support. You guys truly are the best!! Things are much better now and I have all of you to thank for that! Your good vibes made it priority mail all the way to the islands and made a world of difference. I know I've been MIA, but I anticipate being back with a little more regularity now. Unfortunately, my online time may be curtailed due to a different craziness of a more mundane variety, known as the end-of-the-semester crunch, but I still hope to be able to pop in from time to time.

Yes, there is knitting to be had in this post, but it comes in the form of a PSA: Knitting violence is wrong. My friends, it is with a heavy heart that I must confess to you that I am a former perpetrator of knitting violence. My name is Chris, and I am an abusive knitter. My story, unfortunately, is not all that uncommon; perhaps you might even recognize yourself in my woeful tale. Like every abuser before me, I blamed the victim. %$&*@%* I mean, Beautiful Sampler Stole- it was all her fault. We got off to a less than stellar start with the invisible cast-on. The splitty hairiness of the alpaca during K2tog added to the friction, and unable to decipher the elusive directions in Row 6, I found myself increasingly on edge. After the second frogging of the night, I completely lost it. In a fit of complete and utter knitterly rage, I flew my size 2 Inox circs and Alpaca Cloud across the room and screamed sailorly potty-mouth obscenities, the likes of which you've never heard. Novel combinations of adverbs, adjectives and nouns that have yet to find their way into our modern lexicon. I could see the fear in Mr. W's eyes when I grabbed the disavowed circs by the cord and proceeded to hurl the needles against the wall again. and again. and again. Looking at the limp remains of frogged alpaca, gnarled in my sweaty, clenched fists, I realized that I... I had a problem. Surely, no knitting deserves this kind of abuse! Luckily, remorse set in and redemption was found on the KAL page in the form of collective wisdom and Row 6 help. Though I'm now 1 repeat away from finishing the central panel, I recognize that I'm still at risk for future violent behavior, especially with the impending border panels looming in my future. Knowledge is power and awareness is key; "Stop hitting the knitting!" has become my ardent mantra during these trying times.

I realize that March went out like a lion while I was AWOL, but I don't want to let another moment pass without sharing the beautiful postcard I received last month from my wonderful Project Spectrum Postcard Swap partner, Leah. She's such a sweetheart- she even enclosed yummy chocolate (which, unfortunately, never stood a fighting chance of making it to the photo shoot) with her card. Thank you so much, Leah!!I absolutely love the card- the vellum envelope, beaded lettering and dimensional paper crafting are just gorgeous and it has been such a pleasure getting to know you this past month.

Finally, I thought I'd end with some gratuitous Bossy and Stinky pics from an early Egg Hunt this past weekend at The Waikiki Aquarium. Bossy was a little miffed about why the eggs weren't hidden and instead, just dumped onto the grass like chicken feed. Thanks to some quick and resourceful finagling on my part, I was able to explain that the Easter Bunny has to hire people to help him, especially in the week preceeding Easter, since he's obviously gearing up for The Big Egg Hiding Day. Luckily, this resonated with 4 year old logic and Bossy was ultimately stoked to "find" his eggs. I worry for Stinky, though. Her ability to "smile and show me your egg at the same time" doesn't bode too well for her simultaneously chewing gum and walking in the future!

51 comments:

Debi said...

You are a HOOT Chris! And your kids are so adorable. I'm glad you were able to break the cycle of abuse and move on to sweet success!

Thank you for the sweet and wonderful comment! I feel exactly the same and it touched my heart!

Cathy said...

Welcome back Chris! Your shawl is gorgeous and not too badly bruised I see ;) Bossy and Stinky are absolutely adorable - I just love that age :) Please take care of yourself!

KnitPastis said...

You have me laughing here with these adorable kids! Kids are smart aren't they! Stinky knows those Easter eggs should be hidden. Your shawl stitches are amazing!

Jenn said...

Thanks so much for the PSA - I'm thinking I need to have it framed and hung over my knitting spot - stop hitting the knitting, stop hitting the knitting. Such useful and profound words!
Glad that all is back on track with the lovely lace! And Bossy and Stinky are too cute!

Terri said...

The abused shawl looks pretty darned good for an abused object of knitterly anger, and having turned the air blue with obscenities directly related to knitting from time to time myself, let me tell you - I understand. I hope all is well, and that life and knitting return to to all clear status.

Alison said...

Abused or not, the shawl is incredibly beautiful. I can't wait to see the finished product! (Just take your time; I don't want to encourage too much un-mommy-like language!)

mamma said...

Stop hitting the knitting, stop hitting the knitting. I'll try to keep that in mind.

It's good to "see" you back!

Love the shots of the Easter Eggs. I can't wait for the big day. I love Easter.

Catherine Kerth said...

glad to have you back! oh if we had a dime for everytime we abused the knitting! we would be rich women! your posts make me giggle a lot of times, thank you for entertaining us with these thoughts....
poor stinky, he needed a challenge! hopefully the easter bunny will be more than happy to give it to him this sunday morining in his own yard ;)

Leah said...

Ah Chris! Recognition is the first step in wellness! Congratulations!

Look! Sun! And very cute kids!!

Bitterknitter said...

So good to have you back, Chris! That sampler stole is just amazing! And such a survivor, too ;-)! I'm glad things are settling down to some extent, at least!

Happy Easter to you and yours!

(Still sending some positive thoughts just in case)

-Lisa

Lynda said...

Looks like you showed that shawl who's boss - it's beautiful! In future times of knitting distress, just step away from the needles, and remember, words hurt too!

Bossy and Stinky, too cute as always. Love the wondering about Stinky's gum-chewing future!

JessaLu said...

Welcome back :o) It looks like the shawl has weathered the storm (so far) ;o) Remember, patience! ;o)

You have the cutest kids!

Terby said...

That is some beautiful lace. I think throwing it across the room must have been exactly what it needed! Now I know I can tell my knitting to behave or I just might have to send it to see Chris for a little "talk."

It's funny that we all apologize when we have to take a break from the blog - I'm glad to see you back. Hope things steer a calmer course for a while.

Danielle said...

I'm calling the SPCK -- Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Knitting!

Can I come hunt Easter Eggs with you? That looks like tons of fun!

Scoutj said...

I love how you think on your toes....those kids are just the cutest!

erin said...

The sampler stole looks complicated, so make sure you are fortifed with lots of chocs when you tackle the border. Chocs soothes and calms :)

Sonya said...

Sometimes knitting needs to be hurled across a room to make it cooperate, said another knitting abuser. That is a lovely lace pattern, but I too would be inventing new profanities if I tried it.

There is hope for Stinky. My mom tells me that I once tripped and fell in a parking lot, and when she asked me why I fell, I blamed it on the yellow line painted on the asphault. But I manage to stay upright most of the time now. Glad you're back!

carrie said...

glad things are going better! adorable pics of the little ones. happy easter!

msubulldog said...

Ack! Blogger was being a bit nasty and wouldn't let me comment for awhile there. . . I almost became a Blogger abuser. *grin*

Glad to have you back, Chris! Good luck on that crazy stole. I don't envy you--because I know the uncontrollable rage of knitting abuse well . . . Stop hitting the knitting! Too funny. :)

And Stinky holding out the egg (or not) was really cute. I can't wait to watch Aaron hunt for eggs this year. Last year (at one & a half) he was all about finding them and then squishing them to watch the shells crack! :)

Wanda said...

To admit you have a problem is the first step, right? "Stop hitting the knitting!", what a great phrase. As usual, you have such a great sense of humor, you make me laugh. I'm glad that things have slowed down for a bit for you. I miss your postings when you're busy, but of course, completely understand how life can overwhelm you. The knitting looks great!

Nonnahs said...

You're so sweet- never would've pegged you for the violent type. But, knitting sometimes brings out that side in us- believe me, I know! If it's any consolation, the stole truly is beautiful! And Bossy and Stinky are adorable! Glad you're back! :)

Jennifer said...

I think we've all inflicted violence on our knitting. It's ok! As long as you don't bring out the scissors, you're cool.

Acornbud said...

What a beautiful day at the Aquarium! Your stole is looking beautiful now. Looks like you've hit your stride after all that abuse. On your way to wellness! You have a way with words:)

Jen said...

Too funny! I love that Stinky is showing you her empty hand. You're always welcome to insert gratuitous pictures of bossy and stinky any time you want.

The easter egg hunt reminds me of one easter many moons ago. Unlike Bossy, I wanted the end result of many eggs, not the process of finding them. Let me tell you I was HORRIBLE at finding eggs and found ZERO eggs. My 4 year old cousins were finding more than my sorry ass 8 year old self. So when we all lifted our baskets high to show off our goods for the camera, I had the most sour look on my face lifting up my empty basket.

Violent knitter, huh? I'm not sure I can help reform you as I'm certainly guilty of that myself some days...

debbie said...

glad to see you back and true to your hilarious sharing self! sometimes knitting can really put us in a fit of rage i see, but your sampler stole is so pretty and delicate looking.sending good karma your way for knitting and for the end of the semester. and thank you sharing pictures of your beautiful stinky and bossy....i remember when my children were young like them, and though it was a hectic time of my life, it brought me the most joy too; of course seeing them as adults that you actually like to be around with, makes it all worth while....

Jen said...

I forgot to mention...

They cut the gear out of the frame. It's the big landing pads at the foot of the rock. You can still see my other gear however in both pictures. That's DF's outstretched arms. He's pretty good at catching me on the way down so it's only MOSTLY scary instead of EFFing scary.

Lolly said...

There's my dear friend Chris!! So good to see you back, sweety. I hope things are better. I will continue sending happy thoughts your way. ;)

I just adore the Easter Egg hunt pics. Mr. S is totally decked out for Project Spectrum! even before you mentioned that that was at the Aquarium, I recognized it. *Such good memories of that place!*
I got some unfortunate news though -- Mimi is moving! She is moving back stateside... so it does not look like we will make it to Oahu this year. I really hope to get there again though! I want to see you for a longer period of time!

Hugs and love to you and your family!!
Love,
L

Karen said...

I can't in a million years picture you swearing a blue streak at your knitting - you are always so sweet. Are you sure you aren't making that all up?? Ah well, I'm sure that bad knitting had it coming. The stole looks fabulous now though. I bet you had so much fun at the egg hunt - Stinky is so cute holding out her empty hand. And Bossy looked like he had a wonderful time . . . even without needing to actually HUNT for the eggs. Take care and don't worry . . you will get through the craziness of the next few weeks. Hugs and kisses to you all!!

jennifer said...

so nice to hear from you again chris! hope things are getting better (less stressful) everyday and remember that we love ya!
(p.s. tooooooo cute with those egg-hunt pics, i mean come on!)

Areli said...

Ha! Your posts are so funny. I giggle so much. The stole looks beautiful, it's hard to believe you have been treating it so badly.

myra said...

Welcome back!! Your posts have been much missed. Hope things are starting to slow down again and you'll be able to relax and enjoy Easter.

That is the cutest pic of Stinky. I'm assuming her outstretched arm held an egg about a second before the picture was took? :)

Take care Chris!

Agnes said...

You are fast! What colour is your Alpaca Cloud? I have finished the second border ... the second time went A LOT faster, believe me! Now I have to figure out how to work on the edging!

Chris said...

"Stop hittin' the knittin'" - I like it. Words to live by!

My big concern was - did the alpaca start to felt in all of that rough handling?!

Glad you're "back" and maintaining an uneasy truce with your knitting! Your kids are SOOOOO cute in their egg-hunting garb.

Teresa said...

Finally I think my comment will post! :-P First off, welcome back and I hope all is normal again (well, as normal as it gets!). Second, your kids are so darn adorable, and smart (I love Bossy's thinking on the whole egg hiding thing) and little Stinky is so sweet in that outfit! I feel for you with the lace though-and knowing you have a problem is the first step. ;-) Looks beautiful though-and even with the trouble you were having look how far you have gotten-I bow to you!

Take care sweetie-I mean that!!
xo,
-T

Stricken madchen said...

Your kids are too cute! Those smiles! And what a great card you got. I hope your finals go well. It's so hard to be a mom & student during the end of the semester times.
And thank you for your sweet comment! Yours are becoming my favorite. ;-)
Michelle

Anonymous said...

The kids look like they had a great time!
Your stole looks wonderful! Looks like you did a good job bossing that knitting around. Hopefully it will continue to behave for you!
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Casey said...

Despite the trouble, your stole looks really pretty! I'm glad you and your knitting are back in blog-land.
Lucky you getting that beautiful card in the mail!

lexa said...

I'm prone to take fits on my knitting, too, but I don't think quite to that extreme! Close, though! Last big fit was on Wyverns trying to do short row heels. Got half of the heel done, messed up the rest, got mad and ripped it all out amongst some colorful language! Didn't just rip back the heel, the hole thing! Will take advice I got in a comment to try short rows with scrap worsted weight yarn before I attempt it again!

Your kids are cuties! My hubby won't be home for Easter, so it will be up to me to help out the Easter Bunny! By the looks of our weather forecast he will have to resort to scattering throughout the house instead of outdoors. Trouble is the cats have a tendency to move things around through the night!

Jenn said...

I'm also guilty of abusing the knitting, and nothing makes me hurl things faster than a lace chart. I think there should be a support group, or maybe a 12 step program? The stole is lovely though, I hope you will be able to wear it without remembering the time the Alpaca Cloud went flying across the room!

(I had to read all the comments before I commented because I couldn't remember if I already commented. Brain? Where did you go?!?)

Mimi said...

I am glad to see you posting again! ;)
Oh this sampler stole pattern looks so difficult... But the ending result is such a delicate lace. The hard work will be worthwhile.
I can almost visualize the beautiful day at the aquarium with Bossy and Stinky. Enjoy their precious childhood!

kimberly said...

I'm still giggling. It seems you've gotten everything back under control-that lace is sooo pretty.
Have a wonderful Easter!

Dina said...

LOL! Glad you're back ... with a "knitter's vengeance," dare I say? Your "Evil That Knitter's Do" post was hilarious. If you really need to, you could go "Psycho" on your stash and stab them all with some deadly looking 14" SPNs -- all's fair in "knits and war." OK, I'm killing myself over here ... I could go on and on, but I'll spare you and everyone here and say ... the stole is beautiful!

Glad the kids had a great time hunting eggs! I get to do that with the little one this Saturday, so we'll see how that goes!

AmyArtisan said...

Welcome back Chris! :) The easter egg hunt looks like it was a lot of fun for the kids!

The Sampler Stole is looking great!

Lynette said...

It's been a while since I've been out on blogland too but I'm so happy to read yours first thing...your posts put a smile on my face. Sailorly potty mouth obscenities indeed! As long as Bossy and Stinky haven't figured out what they mean, you are fully entitled to making up your own profane vocabulary.

In more serious tones...thank you for your encouraging comments. They meant a lot to me. Have a wonderful day, week, or just whatever. Take care!

KnitPastis said...

HAVE A HAPPY EASTER to you and your family!!

Leah said...

That lace is looking GREAT! You have done ALOT since I saw it at Mocha Java. I hope you have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by!

keohinani said...

Hi Chris!
Yeah, I totally thought of you when I saw the painting of the green anthuriums; firstly because it was green, and secondly because of the anthuriums. On all my trips to Hilo, I was in awe of all the beautiful anthuriums for sale at the Hilo Farmer's Market. :)

Ragan said...

Glad to see you are back! Good luck on your end of semester woes.
Your stole IS beautiful, and so are those children of yours.

Say said...

They're so cute!

Knitting rage. Yes, it strikes me, but in the form of frustrated tears rather than violent acts against fibre knitting accessories. Well, unless you count ferociously ripping out stitches.

Bear Knits said...

Your kids are so adorable!

I've put my knits in timeout just to show them "who's the boss". If they still don't behave, I don't have any problems showing them the ball winder.

kathi said...

welcome back and hope things have mellowed for you. the stole looks great...and the kids are looking ever so cute. i'm glad the sun was out for them!