Thursday, February 23, 2006

whose bright idea was this anyway?

There are some ideas that sound really good in theory, but in reality, really, really aren't.

Like deciding to take the kids out to eat a "nice dinner." This is an oxymoron in and of itself. Having had to make a beeline exit out of a restaurant recently with a screaming Stinky in tow (restrained via football hold, pining for the butter knives I cruelly refused to let her shove down her throat), I know that "a nice dinner" is as elusive a species as jumbo shrimp.

Then there are those ideas that fill you with dread, but are probably in your best interest.

Like pap smears. I start dreading my annual appointment a full 6 months ahead of the fact. Between that medieval speculum cranking device and the awkard conversation, it's hard to keep "early cancer diagnosis" in perspective. Seriously. Seriously. Why does the midwife insist on being chirpy as she's scraping your cervix? Are you supposed to act all normal and maintain your end of the conversation as she does a bimanual exam? Because I have a hard time discussing the pros and cons of my cell phone plan as she simultaneously proclaims my cervix to be in "magnificent shape!"

Like being convinced to join a KAL that is so out of your league that you can't even see the playing field, much less who's on first! I know this lace stole is going to open a major can of whoop-a$# on me, but I'm convinced that I'll definitely learn an invaluable thing or two in the process. Which will almost make up for having all the other KAL'ers pointing and laughing at my comic attempts to knit this stole!

Like deciding to knit an entire cardigan in 2X3X1 rib. And while I absolutely love this cardigan, I detest ribbing, ironically enough. However, the final product is something I'll make a lot of use of, so I'm plugging along and have made pretty decent progress for 2 nights' work. I know that knitting a cardigan in plain rib in a plain cream color is pretty much akin to blog harakiri, but the mama in me needed a pragmatic and practical cardi. Then again, going AWOL on your site for a week and a half can pretty much seal the blog harakiri deal, too. I'm really, really going to make an effort to blog with a little more regularity. I know I post with the frequency of a blogger in need of blog laxatives, but I'm going to try to up the fiber (wool, that is!) to get back on track.

Thank you so much for all of your sweet and encouraging comments about Ella, Kiri and the sample sock knitting I did for my talented designing blog buddy, Chrissy. Although the socks are finally done (as of Tuesday, yay!) and enroute to Chrissy, the whole horse's head in my bed dilemma precludes my being able to post pics of them. All I can say is that I really enjoyed knitting these socks and that I hope Chrissy is still my friend after she sees them! The thought of a TKGA master knitter examining socks which she designed fills me with trepidation beyond compare!

Last, but certainly not least, a huuuuuuuge thank you and hugs to Laura and Karen, who sent some serious mail love to the Aloha State yesterday. Laura RAK-ed me with this absolutely breathtaking and perfect Koigu KPPPM. Laura, I am so blown away by your generosity and kindness- thank you soo much!! I haven't been able to stop fondling this Koigu and the beautiful green colorway... oh, how it sings to me!! These are destined to become Elfines... someday, when I stop molesting the skeins, that is. And while I was lucky enough to be one of the winners in Karen's Show Your FO! KAL contest, what she sent was above and beyond anything I could have ever expected. Karen, thank you soo much for the gorgeous Trekking, Lush, Sock Landscape and the adorable tin of mints!! (There was also some yummy chocolate which never stood a chance against the 4:30 PMS craving.) Your generosity simply blows me away and I can't tell you how grateful I am for your kindness and thoughtfulness. Laura and Karen are among the sweetest people I know, so please be sure to hop on over and say hello!

46 comments:

katarinaw said...

You are so wonderfully funny! Thank you for making my day! ;)

Cat said...

Blogland people is the best! People that you never met give you so nice presents! I´m molesting my alpaca yarn from my secret pal..

Erica said...

And that is why our idea of a nice dinner is at Burger King! Or even better, delivery! I feel your pain on the sweater, all over ribbing would make me crazy.

Laura said...

Possibly your most hilarious post EVER! Although I really have a soft spot for the one about you and your sister watching scary movies and refusing to get up to go to the bathroom.

I'm glad that I could send along some healthy fiber to promote blog regularity! You know, health professionals say that most Americans don't consume nearly enough fiber. That is why I went out and bought new fiber for the Sunrise Circle Jacket.

Jenn said...

I love what Laura sais about getting enough fiber! Too funny! Your new yarn looks delish - so nice to get little prezzies!
I'm feeling your pain on ribby - I'm sure I'll love my finished sweater, and knitting the back for me wasn't such a pain (I did the "plain panel" version), but the sleeves are killing me - all that 2x2 rib.....snooze.

Have a great Friday!

Lolly said...

I am with you on the dreading of the annual pap smear - I worry over things for months beforehand. Ack! It is so awkward to have your doctor down there and be talking to you about your vacation plans...

Ribby Cardi is going to be great - keep on truckin' girlfriend! I think the cream color will look great on you. Go C Go!

Lovely new yarns from your friends! Many many socks in your future! So much fun! ;)

Have a happy weekend, sweety, and we send our love from MD! xoxo

AmyArtisan said...

What a fun post Chris! I think overall knit blogging has been down in th last couple of weeks because of the focus on the Knitting Olympics - I think next week the bloglines will be overflowing. The ribbing on the sweater looks great - it will be a much used "basic" I'm sure. :) All of your new yarn is so pretty - can't wait to see what you do with it! Thanks for all your kind words during my KO shawl event!

kimberly said...

You are such a cutie!! I love your posts. Good for you for sticking with that ribby. I have it on my list and definitely feel it's a much needed staple. Knit on!! Maybe some chocolate will help take away the ribbing blues. :)

Judy said...

"Nice" dinner is still elusive for us, and my kids are 11 and 14. Only now it's not knives that they put in their mouths, it's horseplay and trying to be funny. Ha. Ha.

I wanted to thank you for all your support during my Knitting Olympics madness, too... your encouraging words really helped.

Nice yarn gifties, too! Koigu is my absolute all time favorite yarn...my best friend lives in Minnesota, Land of Many Yarn Shops, and whenever I visit her we strip the place of Koigu.

Karen said...

Tee hee, the whole dragging Stinky out of the restaurant part of your post made me laugh out loud!!! The whole butter knives down the throat thing . . . too funny!! I think your sweater is looking so pretty and a basic sweater is not blog harakiri - I love to see neutral stuff being knit as much as flashy stuff!! So glad you liked your gifts - ENJOY!!! The Koigu is devine!!!

Sonya said...

I think you should know that whenever I see you in bold on Bloglines, I mentally chant, "New post on bits of knits! New post on bits of knits!" I get quite excited. Someday Stinky will appreciate your butter knife vigilance. Such beautiful yarn goodness! You're going to have many wonderful hours of knitting it all up. And good luck on your stole KAL. I'm learning so much from the FLAK KAL. I've learned that knitters are wonderfully generous with their knowledge. Have a great weekend, Chris!

Danielle said...

Uh oh. I've been thinking about lace for a while now. And, being a slightly overachieving Type A personality, that Sampler Stole KAL looks like just my thing. Must resist the temptation ... must resist ... (hey, just because I googled "cobweb lace yarn" doesn't mean anything!)...

Jennifer said...

I hear you... Oh yes do I hear you on all of the above. I haven't seen a white tablecloth, or any table cloth for a long time. My kids think a restaurant either heavily features Ronald McDonald, or involved take-out. And the Pap smears... *shudder*

Lovely gifties! What a bounty of fiber riches.

Ragan said...

Those are great gifts! Love the yarns...oooohhhh.
I feel your woes with the "nice dinner"...the only nice dinners out we have are the kind where we are alone...which is like maybe once a year if we are lucky!
I was so happy to see that you were back today. I love the humor in your posts.

christine said...

Chris - sorry about your dinner experience. I;ve never really seen a jumbo shrimp, either, but I have seen some really shrimpy shrimp.
Yes, I agree with you - Karen and Laura are best of the bloggers, but you have to be put in that category, too! And you deserve those fab fibers! Enjoy!

Acornbud said...

Your dining out experience brings back memories. I was so thrilled when "nice dinner" was Zippy's and even more thrilled when we graduated to "nice dinner"=Yum Yum Tree! Any place where the food comes fast and is simple!
Your yarn haul is wonderful, especially the Koigu! Can't wait to see what you make.

msubulldog said...

So funny, I don't even know where to start, Chris! I think you had me at "pap smear".
I certainly understand the ribbed sweater thing. I desperately love to wear ribbing, but knit it? Not so much. So at some point, I know it's gonna get me, too.
Hang in there with the lace. I know you'll be great at it. I mean, you finally showed Kiri who's boss, right?!? :)
And I don't care how frequently you post--I love reading! *I think Laura's fiber solution is perfect. Look how she & Karen take care of you!

erin said...

The dinners out gets better with age, so that's something to look forward to. And, ribby is looking good, I love creamy white knits!

Kim said...

I think that one of the unwritten rules of parenthood is that if something can go wrong during a "nice family dinner" it will. When we go out to dinner(rarely), I always feel like I have to order the second I get seated, inhale my food, and leave before Rage or Diva starts something. Hang in there with the KAL--sometimes it's fun to add a little challenge to your life(mind you this advice is from the same person who is petrified to cast on for the Crossed in Translation KAL). Your ribby is looking great and you got some awesome gifties :) Have a great weekend!

Agnes said...

Now you made me struggle - should I join the KAL fun?

Debi said...

Do you remember about 10 years ago, the deep deep almost black red nailpolish trend began? It's started with the VERY expensive and elusive $16 a bottle Chanel "NuitRouge" polish that ever girl over the age of 10 coveted. (maybe not in Hawaii tho?) Anyway, here I am contorted like a pretzel with my left breast squashed between the freezing slabs of the torture that is mammogram and my technition suddenly GASPS! and shouts OMG!! Is that the black/red nail polish everyone is talking about? where did you get it?? isn't it really $$?? Of course this chick was ALL talk and NO mammogram so finally I'm like, hun, my left breast has just detached itself from my body, do you *think* we can continue this convo when I've stopped THE BLEEDING?? Your post made me think of this, Chris! LOLOLOLOL!!!

Your Ribby may be "vanilla" and the ribbing tedious but you'll have a gorgeous all purpose sweater you'll use ALL THE TIME!! Make the flat front panels tho, I think you'll be happier!!

Have a great weekend Chris! Tell Bossy, Stinky and the Hubster P-Man and I say HI!

Alison said...

You can do it! I've actually been considering doing that exact stole with all that laceweight soy silk. Hmm. I really need to finish a few things!

I was nodding along during the "nice dinner" bit. Been there, done that, got nice dinner all over the t-shirt:)

And I just had my annual exam, so I don't have to dread it for a while! There was a really disturbed sketch on MAD TV during the first couple of seasons about "Mr. Speculum." Very disturbed.

Teresa said...

I missed you-glad you are back!;-) I know how it goes though...kids just don't understand the needs of a blogging knitter. And the whole dinner thing? Yeah, not gonna happen. Don't even get me started on pap smears. As if carrying and delivering children, getting a monthly 'visitor', and everything else that can go wrong down south of the bellybutton isn't enough, there is the good old speculum treat to look forward to. Yuck. The KAL looks like fun....have to think about that. Your gifts are exquisite!! I am sooooo coveting that Koigu, and the colorway is gorgeous! All the yarns and goodies are fantastic, you have some great knitty friends!

BTW, I detest doing ribbing-I avoid it like the plague. Yet that cardi is such a great design and perfect for a busy momma that it will all be worth it!

Take care and have a great weekend!

love,
-T

Catherine Kerth said...

You always make me laugh! yep your summuray on taking kids out someplace nice is aces! We stopped trying years ago :) i love that cardi, but your right ribbing gets on my nerves too.... oh koigu lovin'! that was so kind of laura :) love the other gifties too. Lush is sooooo soft right?!

Cathy said...

Lovely people deserve lovely gifts, and you are certainly one of the sweetest in blogland! (honest) Good for you on the cardi progress, I'm sure it will be one of your favorites when it is finished and I have NO DOUBT in my mind that the stole will prove to be not as difficult as you are expecting :) So glad to see that you are ok, and weren't missing due to illness :)

amylovie said...

I've lived through the torture of taking your kids to a nice restaurant. You are a brave soul.

Amy

Bitterknitter said...

It's true, we could all use some more fiber! And, honestly, I can think of no one more deserving than you! Enjoy your lovely gifties, help them grow up into lovely things!
(how starved for adult conversation am I that I actually look forward to my annual "visit" with my midwife?)

ttbookjunkie said...

I always enjoy stopping by your blog, your kids make me giggle. Your ribby cardy is going to be fantastic and in no way plain.

Have a great weekend!
Amanda :)

jessica said...

Oh my, the whole "nice dinner" hahaha. I don't think I'll be trying that again untill the kids are quite a bit older. But every now and again I think it wouldn't be *too bad* and I'm reminded, yet again, Of the truths of parenting. Get a sitter and then go out.

You make me laugh, I love your blog! I wouldn't care if you only posted once a month. I'd still be checking every day for signs of blogging life;o)

Good luck on your stole, I'm sure you'll do fine! Your carddi will be great, even if your not fully enjoying the ribbing. I'm sure you'll love it when its done! Take care, Chris! Knit happy:o)

myra said...

"I know I post with the frequency of a blogger in need of blog laxatives, but I'm going to try to up the fiber (wool, that is!)..."

Ha!! That totally cracked me up! I love your posts!

And we've done the "nice dinner" thing too. Can you taste your food when you're out at a restaurant? Because I swear ever since I had my son the food has no taste as I'm too preoccupied with keeping him from destroying whatevers within reach.

Good luck with your progress on all your latest projects. They are all impressive as always and I'm definitely sure you won't need that can of whoop-a$#.

Have a great weekend Chris!

Anonymous said...

I have made that same mad dash with N under my arm. Now we only eat in a "nice" restaurant if they have crayons. HAHA!
Look at how well you were spoiled! The colors of the yarn are lovely.
We are at about the same point on our Ribby Cardis. It's a fun knit don't you think.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Mrs.Curvy said...

I had to laugh! Sounds like what we go thru around here with my son. Yummy yummy yarn! Such pretty colors too. Good luck with the cardi. I know your going to do a wonderful job with it!

debbie said...

life will never be more interesting and fun than now, when the kiddies are little - can you imagine your life without the chaos and challenges (sigh!). now that my "children" are 23, 21, and 17, i can truly say i miss the "good 'ol days," but it sure is nice to be able to have an uninterrupted dinner with them and normal conversation (whatever that is....) oh, and about the pap smear, you hit it on the button! i always feel so --- trapped! and the mammogram - i fear to move without risking ripping something off, left in that contraption....
i love your stash of yarn, especially the koigu and lush....

lexa said...

Wow! You have some really nice gifts there, girl! Love that Koigu! Green is one of my fave colors!

I know what you mean about the dreaded pap! My old doctor used to chew at me, "It's only ten seconds once a year -- could save your life..." They aren't as bad now. The doctor I go to now (other one retired) has a much more modern whatchamacallit. The old doctor had his since he was an intern, I'm sure. It was a terrible, pointy, plastic thing. Yuck!

That is a nice cardigan! I'm finished up a pair of socks for my oldest that is 3x1 rib. Rather dull. Nice in the end, though!

Jo said...

What pretties! I have been avoiding (or at least valiantly trying not to) buying new yarn because we will be moving within a few months and trust me... I already have enough yarn to pack (Jo looks around - DH didn't see that I wrote that, did he!?!?).

The restaurant thing... we have in our arsenal a few good restaurants Willow will behave in and have somewhat kid-friendly food. One of them surprisingly, is this traditional Japanese place - she loves the low tables, tamago sushi, and udon soup... and the waitresses adore her and I think she justs basks in their adoration.

Check me out - Veste Everest is nearly done!

Jo

Anonymous said...

Ooooh that Koigu is deelish! I love knitting with it! I've got the Ribby Cardi pattern waiting in my knitting bullpen, have yet to purchase yarn for it, but I'm looking forward to reading your experiences, it's about 2 sweaters down the line for me. I'm a little worried about the zipper...

Scoutj said...

I took my kids shopping today and when I was at the GAP I told them to go play in the stall next to me while I was trying some stuff on. I asked the guy who worked there if he could lock them in there. :)

Lynette said...

Really? There's no such thing as jumbo shrimp? Crap. I've been eating rock shrimp on steroids all this time.

I try never to discuss money matters or politics while in the middle of a gyno exam. There's just no dignity in it. We discuss sports.

Wanda said...

There's nothing wrong with knitting that Ribby Cardi in cream, it's a pretty color and it's one that you will use. Make no apologies for your knitting. If you knit it in some color that didn't work with the rest of your wardrobe, then there would be no usefulness to you and it wouldn't get worn as often! Do what works for you.

You really got a lot of mail love! I love that color of Koigu. What color is it? So pretty. I think I might be scared to knit with it, but I would definitely fondle it for long periods of time! :-)

Jenn said...

I hate the yearly appointment. I have to go in June and I haaaaaaaaaatttttte it. But at least your cervix is in magnificent shape.

You can totally make the lace stole! And remember: lifelines are your friends.

I don't blame you for fondling your Koigu. It's all I can do not to fondle the *picture* of the Koigu!

Mimi said...

Time goes by fast and soon you'll be having a nice dinner as a family! ;)The only problem is that the choice of the restaurant maybe been taken away by the grown up kids!
It's boring to knit rib sts but i have to say that it's kind relaxing, no so much worries for the pattern and it goes fast!
Wow, more beautiful yarn. You are a lucky and nice girl to receive all these gifts!

Jen said...

Oh come on. How can you worry about blog harikari, or however it's spelled, when I look to see if you've posted yet EVERY DAY, and so many of us wait with anticipation to see our bloglines light up with Bits of Knits. Even if you're stopped up worse than your worst dirty bathroom in need of roto rooter, I'll always read your blog.

Apparently, 41 other people think so too!

Sandee Yo! said...

Ahh...the kid/dinner issue. I remember it well...doing the football carry with a big 6-yr old screaming and kicking his feet while my mom screamed at me not to abuse the boy (eyeroll) and the wait staff at the local Maui greasy spoon snickering under their breath!

I love the ribby cardi, hated the ribbing as well...made one for myself in blue! ;-)

Stricken madchen said...

You are too funny! It does get better as they age, allowing for the occasional 'perfect' dining out experience. When this does happen, remember to smile and pretend your kids are always this well behaved. That's your reward for having to deal with all the not-so-good experiences. ;-)
Your cardigan looks great so far. I bet you will get a lot of use out of it when it's done. And those yummy treats you got! What fun it is to having blog friends (and especially those with contests...hehe).
Michelle

Chris said...

Hi! Thanks for dropping by my blog earlier. We DO seem to read a lot of the same blogs! Congrats on all the lovely yarn that's been coming your way. Yum.

Oh, I bet you can keep people interested while you work on the ribby cardi. :)

JessaLu said...

The ribbing...that is why I am not a proud owner of a Ribby Cardi ;o)

Oh and I look forward to my annual 'poke n prod' (as I like to refer to it) about as much as a doomed man looks forward to his execution day. Let's just say that I'm in pain for two days afterwards :o( It truly sucks to be woman sometimes.

That Karen gives awesome prizes, doesn't she?