Monday, October 05, 2009

slipping through my fingers

My relationship with Sweetie is a challenging and wonderfully complex one, as I suppose all mother-daughter relationships are. That she is my middle child exacerbates the situation, no doubt. She is at once headstrong, yet needy, fiercely independent, yet clingy; a dichotomy that constantly challenges and often exasperates me. Officially a big girl kindergartner, no longer my baby girl- we both struggle to come to terms with this unexpected metamorphosis and often find ourselves at odds, emotionally exhausted and at the end of our ropes.

And yet, this sweet and funny little girl inspires and humbles me in so many ways. To share unselfishly without any thought of reciprocation, to love with great faith... she unknowingly offers me these gifts. Watching the joy in her eyes as she gives her whole portion of her favorite snack to Bug to cheer him up or the way she borrows Star Wars books at the library for Ace simply to make him happy, I know that I am privileged to be on this path with her.

It is so easy for me to fall into the practice of focusing on flaws, rather than seeking the perfection that exists. (A foible I chalk up to my Virgo stars, I might add.) There is so much hidden treasure to be unearthed, if only I remember to be mindful and open to the possibility.

On that train of thought, some funny snippets from a recent conversation with Sweetie about why she wishes she were a grown-up that I want to savor and remember:
"Because I want to drink coffee with you from the press pot, Mom. I want to cut apples with a sharp, big knife instead of the white plastic one. I want to stay up late and drink wine with you and have that cheese you eat with the wine. I want to watch Harry Potter Six and even the scary parts in Harry Potter 4!!"
There will be plenty of time to do all these things and more, I promise you, so stay five just a bit longer, my funny little girl.